Community workshop: «Sex positivity» or rather «sex neutrality»

In general, Dirk Sander from Deutsche Aidshilfe has observed that men - regardless of their sexual orientation and gender identity - have been sick more often in the years since the Covid-19 pandemic and have been absent from daily (working) life as a result. This is interpreted to mean that the pandemic has made men realize that they too have mental health issues. This plays an important role in the context of gay sexuality, because it is not just about fucking.

Marcel Dams, sex counselor, emphasizes the different dimensions of sexuality: lust (fleeting, momentary) and desire (mobile, cannot be discarded, flowing between poles). And in desire, Dams discusses the scope for becoming active and shaping things yourself. It is important to consider the oscillation between sexual being and acting. For example, the problem of premature ejaculation cannot be explained solely by, for example, excessive alcohol consumption (action level alcohol consumption), but aspects of mental health must also be taken into account (being level). It is therefore important to ask yourself the following questions: What are my sexual resources? What can I do with? What do I want? What do I not want? The term "gay heaven / gay hell" is used in this context. It is often the same issues that lie in both pools, such as the gay community, which on the one hand offers support and freedom, but on the other hand also brings rejection and other disappointments. It is important to learn how to deal with this discrepancy and to help shape it for yourself.

Conclusion: Sex positivity also means looking at the negative and shameful aspects of sexuality. In the context of a mental illness, this also means that if, for example, there is a lack of drive, this is not problematized, but the meaning is sought. Based on the new term «body neutrality», a formulation is ventured: «sex neutrality».